Saturday, May 29, 2010

Special Mahar Banjar

A convoy of women crowded into a small road to neighbor's house. In their hands each carrying a bundle which was decorated with apiknya. There deh about tens of people. The convoy was then greeted by mothers teaching. Type 36 houses were fully spontaneous. The event brought honesty began. Honesty?

Banjar tribe's tradition of honesty before the wedding conducted by the prospective husband in meeting the candidate's wife and family desire. Honesty in the form of an agreed amount of money by both parties at the time application. Besides, there is such thing as a mat bed nets. Mosquito mats does not mean the same mat mosquito nets, but only a figure of speech whose content the bridal room equipment, such as closets, dressers, beds, fabric, women's shoes, makeup tools, and some even get to dress in all. But it certainly based on the candidate's husband and family commitments, even modest numbers only. However, if the candidate's wife and family demands are not met and there is no agreement between the two sides, he retreated just passable.

Honesty is carried by the convoy had been, before being turned over to the side of women, through several stages. First, events and introductory remarks from each side. From the prospective man through his spokesman to express their intent and the arrival of women to come and party through the welcoming spokeswoman.

Second, first delivered in the form of money is honesty. The money was placed disebuah place had been prepared, in place of the money is there yellow rice, pandan leaves, candy, and coins (coins), and related wood spoon for stirring. Some elders (elder people) of the women, taking turns stirring the place of money. Mixing does not always mean a real stir, but only a symbol.

Third, if there is an agreement to be counted, the money is then counted in public. But this has rarely happened, unless performed by people who strongly hold the customary.

Fourthly, hand ring, if it exists.

Fifth, the surrender of other luggage. Then covered with prayer.


Tradition. Our society is still strong with most traditions as above. Not only from the tribe Banjar, from other tribes also have traditions like this. As with hantarannya Betawi. At its core is the same process, even for Javanese traditions may be more complicated again.

If only all women's side of the family tradition of giving way, if not impede the process towards the marriage? From some stories never heard, apparently a lot of the applicants chose to withdraw because of the tradition.

Whereas in the hadith it is mentioned that:
"Verily, the woman is the greatest blessing is the best face and at least dowry." (Abu Umar, At-Tauqani in the book of al-ahliin mu'asyarah).

"Verily, blessed among women is to ask for her hand convenience, ease of dowry, and ease of her womb." (Ahmad)

"The best of women is a good face and generous dowry." (Ibn Hibban)

Marriage is a sunnah that the Prophet should be immediately executed if there is no doubt in the hearts of both, as narrated by Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi that, "And when it comes to people you are willing to religion and amanahnya, then marry him, if you do not, there will be a disaster on earth and great corruption. "

If we look at the Prophet's time, maharnya Fatimah bint Muhammad is his armor karromallah wajhah Ali, because Ali did not have the others, then he sold it and then given to Faatimah as a dowry. There are also women who maharnya shahabiyah only a ring of iron. Even the dowry in the form of the verses of the Koran is, who later taught by her husband.

If we compare our time today, we see a lot of dowry, and dowry-valuable items, even extravagant feasts, waste. Though Islam has opposed wasteful spender and make Satan as brothers. As word of Almighty Allah states:

"Lo-spender spender was the devil brothers." (Al-Isra: 27).

".... and do not squander (your wealth) in a spendthrift. "(Al-Isra: 26)

".... and do not be too held it out (not too stingy and do not be too too generous), because that ye may be reprehensible and regret. "(Al-Isra: 29)

O Muslim, if we know the word of God and the Sunnah of His Messenger, what shall we do now? Come customary with reasons whether the family wants? Or stay firm to run his Shari'a? Many ways leading to China, if our families are passionate about their indigenous people, be wise enough if you try to convey (socialize) our desires from now to the family. God judge the process, not results. Try. Before the time came, picked up the mujahid! (Pilot)